I'm not bloody sexy and it's not your right to fuck me!

Sometimes, when the topic of sexual harassment comes up in discussion, there are girls who tell me, like it's their "defense", that they surely never go out alone in the night and therefore never get harassed. I'm not sure whether to feel sad for or be angry at these girls. Believing that this saves you from getting harassed is not only very limeting of your own life and the things you are "allowed" to do, it also shows that you too have been force fed the unfortunatly common belief that it is a girl's own fault if she gets raped.

Now you're probably thinking something amongst the lines of "Absolutely not, I'm just telling girls to be careful!". Why should we have to be careful? Don't we have every right to walk around alone at night? In an ideal society, should we not be able to prance around bare naked if we wanted to, without being harassed?

Not that I'd want to walk around naked. It'd be awfully cold. And I'd be, you know, naked.

Blaming someone for the things other's do against her/him is plain stupid. It's not like being free is an invitation to violence. And this shit about women driving men mad with their slutty clothes, so that they can't control themselves, women asking for it... That's bullshit. Everyone can control themselves unless they have some sort of severe mental disorder. And if this is the case, it's still not the womans fault, it's the mental disorders. Furthermore, seriously, do you really believe that this is a world where the only ones that harass are men and everyone who gets harassed are women? And that it's always by some creepy stranger lurking in a bush?

The around eight times I've been sexually harassed (That's right!) I've been covering everything on my body but my lower arms and face with at least one of layer fabric. That's pretty far from slutty. I aslo constanly get to hear "But you dress really weird, don't you think people get provocated by that?" Well, they might, but that's not a reason to try and stick a finger up my cunt. Furthermore, seven of these eight times I was dressed like a pretty normal teen in a cute blouse, perhaps with a vest, belt or corset over it, and a fashionable skirt, shorts with tights under them or jeans. I get harassed a lot more when I look "normal". I think maybe my goth and lolita clothes scare everyone but the total psychos away... or perhaps they just view me as asexual and not worth bothering when wearing them.

And as for the alone at night, most of these times I was within an arms reach of at least three friends. And believe me, a lot of the times it wasn't in the middle of the night. Not even the evening, in some cases.

What I've been meaning to say with this is... I just want to be left alone by these creeps! My body does not belong to anyone but myself and it's nobody's right to have sex with me. People should not even be allowed to poke me against my will. Yet still, when I tell anyone what's happened to me, they often say: "But it's not that bad, right?" or "Perhaps you got it all wrong, perhaps he didn't mean to do that?".

All I want is to be left alone by these creeps, and actually listened to and believed by people. Obviously that is to much to ask for.

Lolita list

COLOURS

What colours can be found in your Lolita closet?
Black, white, pink, sax, red and lavender.

What is your favourite colour with Lolita?
Black… or sax.

What is your least favourite colour in Lolita?
Yellow. Partly because I look green and sort of ill in it.

Which uncommon colour do you want to try out?
Turquoise!

DESIGN

Are you more a Onepiece, Jumperskirt or a Skirt person?
Onepieces, they’re awesome because you don’t need a blouse with them.

Which cut do you like the best?
Urr… I don’t know the names for the cuts I like! (But I do now the names of the ones I don’t.) But well, you know the Wonder Party OP? That’s my favourite style.



Print or no Print?
Print! Print! Print!

How does a dress/skirt have to look like that it will be a "must have" item for you?
Same cut as Magical Etoilé / Wonder Party, with a cute print with things like cupcakes, candy and stars in pink and sax.

STYLES

What is your favourite style in Lolita?
Sweet. Really over-the-top, or mixed with elaborate classic accessories such as Triple Fortune bonnets.

Which style do you wear regularly?
Classic.

Which style you want to try out?
Pirate lolita, tricorn and all. Adorable!

Which style you never want to try out/wear again?
Country lolita. Like, boring.

BRANDS

Brands yes or no and why?
Yes. Because they helped create and popularize the style. And because, like it or not, they have way better quality items.

Which brand is your favourite?
Angelic Pretty and Victorian Maiden. AP is pure sugar and I always look like a doll in their clothes, and VM has this timeless yet still somehow modern elegance.

Which is your least favourite brand?
Meta. Some of their stuff is really cute, but most of it… I just don’t get it.

Ever had a good/bad experience with brand?
Not really.

Will this experience encourage/stop you from buying brand?
-

OTHER

Did you ever got surprised by a piece of Lolita?
Oh, the Angelic Pretty pockets… I was so surprised when I found them!

Did you ever got disappointed by a piece of Lolita?
NO! :D

Things that you like about Lolita?
That it’s gorgeous. That it’s a fashion for you and not meant to charm anybody else, be it potential partners, friends or your grandma. It’s nice having something that you do simply because it makes you happy.

Things that you dislike on Lolita?
All the drama. People dismissing me as an “AP-clone”. The annoyingness of strangers towards you. Newbies who think they can tell everybody else what to wear and how to act.

Do you have a Lolita fashion idol, if 'yes' who is it?
No idol, but there are many people who inspire me, for example:

http://takulu.blog79.fc2.com/


http://iiraliina.livejournal.com/


http://unravelingsky.livejournal.com/


http://rockin-rollita.livejournal.com/



Does Lolita affect your every day life?
Well, since I wear it almost every day, I guess yes. Not sure how. I guess the most important thing is that it makes me feel happier. It’s hard not to be happy when you feel beautiful. Gosh, I sound banal.

Do you buy Lolita related things, like cute looking furniture?
God no…. I’m far from a lifestyler. I want my room to look like a mix between a 19th century upper class bordello and an abandoned industry from a post-apocalyptic future, and damn it, it will. I don’t even deco my phone.

Do you read/buy the Gothic Lolita Bible?
No! Or, I have read it at friends’ places and stuff, but I would never buy it. Cost of 10 Bibles = one dress.

How to you describe your fashion style to others that don´t know about Lolita?
Cute, feminine and doll-like, inspired by rococo and Victorian fashion, but the dresses are shorter.

Is there something you want to say to your fellow Lolitas?
You rock! It’s great to see girls with such great taste in clothes. You make the world a little more interesting and elegant.